“Down, down, down. Would the fall never come to an end? I wonder if I shall fall right through the earth! How funny it’ll seem to come out among the people that walk with their heads downwards! But I shall have to ask them what the name of the country is…Please, Ma’am, is this New Zealand? Or Australia?
– Alice in Wonderland
So I went under…because everything kind of blew up. What I mean is, I went Down Under, to Australia.
Why Australia? To visit a friend. Because he wasn’t just a friend. But now he is…or perhaps he will be someday.
So things didn’t quite go the direction I’d hoped. But onward and upward, right? Although I’m not quite sure which way that is at this point.
It seems that I haven’t gotten the whole ‘things are looking up‘ thing down.
I’ve gotten close. Painfully close. My sister was optimistic, my friends let out a sigh of relief, cheering me on to what we thought was the other side. And we did get really close.
But here we are. Except, that’s kind of the issue…
I can’t exactly say where I am? Teetering on the edge of oblivion sounds about right- still walking on the wrong side of the street, sleeping on yet another friend’s couch (who is literally why I’m at least still teetering), and my current physical address is a P.O. Box.
What I do know is my mind is reeling, my heart hurts, and my soul is most definitely bruised.
“There is a place, like no place on earth. A land full of wonder, mystery, and danger. Some say, to survive it, you need to be as mad as a hatter. Which, luckily, I am.” – Alice in Wonderland
But this is my Oprah moment, right? That moment when it all seems so bad that you just have to laugh at how ridiculous it is or you will go mad. To keep your wits about you, you imagine yourself recounting that moment when you hit rock bottom and the play-by-play of your subsequent ascent.
This is mine, right?
Except I already have a solid collection of ‘rock bottoms’. I’m all set for the whole “redemption- see the gift in it all- inspire millions with my strength and resilience” part.
But apparently, we’re not quite there yet.
Not to worry, I shall forge on…or up or whichever direction is required to resist gravity and steer clear of rabbits.
In the meantime, I get to be in a beautiful place with a dear friend, do my best to walk on the ‘right’ side of the street, and switch from enjoying Springtime Down Under to Fall on the up side.
And really, doesn’t falling up sound much better than being down?