Drama Cleanse, day 13: Messy, yes, but it can be fixed

  1. 5-minute Journal- check
  2. Podcast: Tedtalks: Kathy Hull: Stories from a home for terminally ill children, 2. Lux Narayan: What I learned from 2,000 obituaries.
  3. Visualize- This morning
  4. Exercise: Easy run
  5. Goal- (speaking to students at independent school) Listened to rest of second workshop by TedTalks Founder Acumen Presents: Chris Anderson on Public Speaking

The past few days have been a bit rough. As the dust is slowly starting to settle and reality is sinking in…well, things are definitely messy. Like pretty much everything. At least that is how it feels. I.e., I’m completely overwhelmed and doing everything I can to not go down the rabbit hole.

So this morning, as I was willing myself to go back to sleep until at least the sun was up, I started listing out all of the things in my head that were on the verge of collapsing, envisioning worst case scenarios for each. Since I have done this a few times before, I knew lying in bed was pointless. So I did what I always do, I started cleaning. Fortunately, I realized something was missing from my usual ‘morning’ routine- my podcast. I snapped out of it long enough to realize that I needed some perspective or at least something to get me out of my head. Tedtalks seemed like a good option. I didn’t even look, just pushed play and went about trying to rearrange my ‘closet’ one more time to accommodate the piles of clothes that will realistically never experience hanging status, at least not for the next 12 months.

The Tedtalk was short, as they are meant to be, and one plays right after the other. So I listened to two.

Subject matter of both of this morning’s selections? Death.

I guess you can’t get more ‘perspective’ than that.

Podcast: Kathy Hull: Stories from a home for terminally ill children

Needless to say, I was sobbing by minute two.

Long/short, Kathy Hull founded the George Mark Children’s House, a freestanding pediatric care facility for children who are dying from terminal diseases. The center offers free housing in a beautiful, peaceful setting for children and their families to spend their last few weeks together… or days.

Hull previously worked as a psychologist for pediatric intensive care units. She started the center after watching countless babies, toddlers, and children die in crowded, cold hospital rooms lit with fluorescent lights and crammed full of loud, horrific machines.

The center is located on her friend’s Camel Ranch in the Santa Cruz Mountains (Camels. How cool is that?) The center and staff provide everything imaginable to ensure that the last few days for these children and their families are unforgettable- their favorite meals freshly prepared, resident dog and bunny to snuggle with, beautiful surroundings, fresh air…and camels.

And then she introduces Crystal.

Crystal was 9 years old and arrived at the center with only two weeks to live. But she didn’t die in 2 weeks. She lived another four months. She held on because she finally got the chance to actually live- to learn how to make jewelry, and carve a pumpkin for Halloween, and plan her 10th birthday party.

And my favorite part:

Crystal set up a lemonade stand by the front door of the center. Hull told Crystal that she wanted to buy a cookie. “How much is it?” she asked. “Three dollars” Crystal immediately replied. “Three dollars? That seems a little high for one cookie.” Crystal’s eyes light up and she gets a huge smile on her face. “I know”, she states, matter of factly, “But I’m worth it”.

So, I’ll leave you with that. Perspective. Things aren’t great right now. They are actually beyond challenging. But, jesus, they can be fixed. They can be fixed because they are temporary and I have the time to fix them. I have the time because I actually have a future… a much-needed reality check.

New step for this week. I’m going to deal with one thing that I have been dreading and putting off. I’m going to list everything out that is stressing me out, I’m going to prioritize them according to most urgent to least, and I’m going to deal with one a day. Manageable bites, I can do.

Optional steps for Day 13:

  1. Journal
  2. Podcast
  3. Visualize
  4. Exercise
  5. Step towards goal of choice
  6. Cleanse of your choosing
  7. Make a list of shitty things you don’t want to deal with. Do one of them.


  1. Journal App.fiveminutejournal.com
  2. Visualization: Mike Dooley (visualization tips: http://www.tut.com
  3. Podcast Referenced: Tedtalks: 1. Kathy Hull: Stories from a home for terminally ill children.  2. Lux Narayan: What I learned from 2,000 obituaries.
  4. Exercise: barmethod.com/online
  5. Goal: Acumen Presents: Chris Anderson on Public Speaking: https://www.udemy.com/courses/
  6. Cleanse products: Renew’s 7 day Rapid Cleanse, Milk Thistle, Probiotics, Apple Cider Vinegar: https://www.davidwolfe.com/1-tbsp-acv-eliminate-health-problems/

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